Doctor: Okay, so what's wrong, how are you feeling?
Me: *Looks at mom waiting for her to explain*
When you accidentally make something rhyme.....
There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’
misplacedmartian: when someone changes the topic in a conversation and you had something interesting to say
grandma: why is that cotton candy talking
me: grandma that's nicki minaj
me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes
me: wakes up february 5th, 2098
How to kill a spider:
get a piece of tissue paper
approach it slowly
and very carefully
burn the house down.